Wednesday, December 29, 2010
A Farewell to CAN'T
This goodbye does not make me sad. I will not miss you. I have discovered what it feels like to do the unthinkable. The hard. The long. The challenging. You have no business here anymore. From now on, difficult will seem doable. I will see the impossible as simply not-yet-conquered.
Farewell, Can't. You will haunt me never again.
Hello, Can. Welcome to my world.
Think maybe I'll write this verse out and put it underneath:
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
On Wednesday a friend had some of us over for lunch at the condo she was staying in - on the 14th floor. It was really beautiful but I think I still prefer my beach at ground level!
Monday, December 6, 2010
I found the top photo after I came inside and searched "manger scene" and then took a photo of what I actually did. I'll change it in the morning - just wanted to give my blogger friends a good laugh!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Couldn't aim the camera right at the sunrise so I took this "reflected sunrise" photo.
When I headed back to my car I turned around one more time and saw this view:
Friday, October 22, 2010
I guess this was a serious moment for me!:
We knew each other in high school and we both went to the same church. He was friends with my older brother and would come over to our home all the time and hang out there. He dated all my friends and I took his photo with me away to college. Yes, I had a "crush" on him - I smile as I write the old-fashioned word.
When he came back from Viet Nam I was working for Eastman Kodak in New York City - I was a blond by then and when he came over to our house he finally noticed me - smile. We starting dating in October and he asked me to marry him in January and we were married in May.
We had a lot of really good times and good experiences and a lot of really really hard times but through it all I always knew that Alex loved me and only me and I will always treasure that knowledge.
In memory of Alex Adare who died six years ago today.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I needed to go to the grocery store to get some of the ingredients - I was using a recipe from a Duncan Hines Cookbook that required DH Pineapple Supreme Cake Mix, a 20 ounce can of pineapple rings, a bottle of maraschino cherries and I needed more eggs and some other things. Drove to the store which is really five minutes away and came back home to start the cake.
Melted the butter in the bottom of the 9 x 13 pan, sprinkled the brown sugar over the melted butter and then began to put the drained pineapple rings on the cake in an orderly fashion. I needed 12 rings and there were only 10 in the can - the recipe promised me that there would be 12 rings in a 20 ounce can so I had only purchased one can. The cake batter was all mixed - the pan was already but lacking 2 rings - and the oven was all ready to go at 350 degrees. So back in the car I went tearing over to the grocery store - running in (the checker sees me and smiles and calls out to me asking if I forgot something) - I get the second can of pineapple rings and get in line to pay.
This whole time I am worrying about leaving the oven going and what if I am in a car accident and no one knows about the oven being left on and I'm wondering if in situations like this if I should pin a note to myself saying, "In case of accident please go to my house and turn off the oven" - sorry but this is the way my brain works.
Got back home and successfully got the cake in the oven with all the required pineapple rings and maraschino cherries and it came out just fine!!!
Oh - I like to collect pigs so I threw in a photo of some of my pigs!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I encourage you to attend a class in which I attempt to teach college students raised on texting, the internet, video games (which their ignorant parents tell them are educational or intelligence boosters), and various other iPacifiers. My students are thoroughly distracted. They tell me that it is physically painful for them to sit and read for more than ten minutes. They are always looking for the next text, the next google search, the next hit. They're like addicts who can't control themselves. Their brains are not like the brains of students I had only five years ago.
They also think that they don't need to know anything, because they can just use google--something they treat as a collective brain. God help them when they're told that being an educated person means going a lot deeper than the dubious entries in wikipedia.
The drop in the literacy levels of my middle-class, largely white, suburban students in the last 2 years alone is staggering. Don't tell me that people are switching to e-reading. They're not. People are reading less and if my students are any indication, many of them are not reading books at all."
This was written by an anonymous college professor in reply to an article in the NY Times about why people aren't buying books. I thought the comment was pretty relevant to what is really happening - especially with students.
I had a lot of fun being pregnant with you – in August I was swimming in the ocean off LI (Robert Moses/Fire Island) and I remember one day the lifeguard asked me to please not go in the water – what? He didn’t want to rescue and eight months pregnant woman??? I promised him I wouldn’t body surf . . .
Dad and I were so excited to be having another baby and were looking forward to your birth towards the end of September. Your older sister started nursery school and still no baby! Day after day was going by and nothing was happening so I finally called the doctor because I was now like two weeks overdue – I mentioned this to him and he acts surprised and schedules me to be induced on Oct. 6th – 16 days past your due date!
We got everything scheduled and Dad took me to North Shore University Hospital where everything got started – the mechanics – but not the delivery! Hour after hour went by with nothing really happening and finally the doctor came to talk with us about 2 p.m. and told us he felt he should deliver you by C-Section and then things really started to happen. They asked if they could give me an epidural and I agreed (I later learned when I had April that it must have still been in the experimental stage). One of things I remembered was they asked me to bring my knees up under my chin and I replied that I hadn’t seen my feet in three months let alone my knees (my friends said I looked as though I had the largest beach ball in the world under my shirt – nice).
After they administered the epidural I went into shock – shaking or I should say violently vibrating all over and getting cold and clammy. The nurse came in to wrap me in warm blankets and elevate my feet and I asked her if I was in shock and she wanted to know why I was asking and I told her I had read enough Reader’s Digest articles to know what the symptoms of shock were. She laughed nervously.
They were rolling me down the corridor to the operation room (still vibrating) and I realized that with everything happening I had never even prayed – and I was really concerned how they were going to start the surgery with me shaking all over. I closed my eyes and said, “Jesus,” and whoosh this amazing feeling of peace, calmness and joy just washed over me and the shaking disappeared. I have never forgotten that moment.
The operating room was freezing cold and everyone was ready to start once the guest of honor arrived – they started my pricking my legs asking me if I felt that and I kept saying yes – yes – yes – and my doctor says that he’ll start – and I say something about the fact that I felt all of those and that I was six feet tall and shouldn’t we wait until that numbing stuff takes affect? They started and I mentioned to them that I could feel the surgical knife!!!! I could see their eyes and the doctor said they would wait a moment (I’m sure they put something in the IV to keep me quiet!).
The best part was that I got to see you right after the delivery and all I could say was how beautiful you were – over and over again. You weighed 11 lbs. 14 oz. and you were 23 inches long!!!!! And the doctor had said he wanted to do the C-Section before you got too big!!! HAH!
Everyone loved you in the hospital. The nursery nurses asked Dad to bring in one of his T-shirts as they didn’t have anything big enough for you and anytime I went down to the nursery to see you one of the nurses would be carrying you around. I was breast feeding you and had absolutely no problems though I would let you fall asleep nestled on my shoulder (no I didn’t do rooming in – that would happen soon enough when I got home).
When it was time to go home the doctor gave me instructions not to lift anything over 10 lbs. and I looked at him and said that that would leave Heather out!!! Really!!! Arriving home we began the tradition of the last sibling holding the newest for the first time and how special that was to let Kristen hold her brand new sister - sitting down with lots of pillows around!!!
And now we celebrate Heather – who is so much to so many people -wife, mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, daughter-in-law, cousin, aunt – involved in church, school, soccer, tennis, bike riding, scrapbooking (that are truly works of art), decorating, mural painting, warm welcoming parties, camping and the list goes on. Heather has the wonderful character quality of friendship and hospitality – she truly knows how to be a really good friend by encouraging, speaking truth in love and always being there for you and combines that with a home that always welcomes you. I have to mention her sense of humor because she was the daughter who called me after having her first baby and said, “Mom, this is the worst baby sitting job I have ever had! The parent’s still haven’t come back!!! What am I going to do?” – I still laugh over that one! And Heather the artist – her imagination, talent and design ability have been proven and when she finds the right direction to go with it all – watch out!
What a blessing to have Heather in our lives – what a blessing to have a daughter whose faith is a real daily walk and who can call me and ask me if she can pray for me. What a precious gift – a daughter, a friend and a kindred spirit.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
My daughter, who also lives nearby, came over to help and even my 90 yr old Mom came over and sat with me so I wasn't alone. Today is Saturday and I'm still taking it easy - I might go to the beach later and just sit and soak up some vitamin D - the sound and sight of the ocean is always good medicine for me.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
II Samuel 22:29
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
This is not the first time Tom has done something like this - he has actually gone into other tenants places while they were upstairs sleeping and fixed whatever and then left and the tenant hasn't realized he's been there until after they come down later in the morning. I've had it. I'm going to call him and talk to him about how unappropriate it is for him to do this - my car was in its parking place and he could have called me on his cell to alert me. I am also going to buy two strong chains for my front and back door so this won't happen again.
I know I have a strong sense of privacy and boundaries but he just stepped way over them!!!!
He's having a new stove delivered for me this afternoon so I will wait until it is installed before I confront him! Thanks for listening.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
These orchids made me laugh - I can remember when women wore huge corsages of these on mother's day - my Mom never has liked corsages and would have killed us all if we ever gave her one of those back in the day! If I'm wearing a corsage it will always be gardenias.
Have to include one of these - thought the cloud looked really fake!
Being in this place in the middle of January in DC was magical.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
This is the photo taken by my daughter Lauren of the Horton Lighthouse that is on Long Island. It is never in any calendars of lighthouses or even books for that matter (I think I did find it in an obscure book one time) but our family loves this lighthouse and if and when we are out on the North Fork we always go to visit it.
My grandmother was a Horton and this place is part of our legacy. In the town of Southold nearby there is a very old cemetery where Barnabas Horton was buried in 1680 and had a carved cover on his grave. This is what it says:
Here sleeps my body tombed in its dust til Christ
shall come and raise it with the just.
My soul's ascended to the throne of God
where with sweet Jesus now I make my aboad
then hasten after me my dearest wife
to be pertaker of this blessed life
and you dear children all follow the Lord.
Hear and obey His public sacred Word
and in your houses call upon His name
for oft I have advised you to do the same.
Then God will bless you with your children all
and to His blessed place He will you call.
Hebrews 11:4 He being dead yet speaketh
Here lyeth buried the body of Mr. Barnabas Horton bord at Mousley in Lester-Shire in Old England and dyed at Southold the 13 day of July 1680 Aged 80 years
I consider this a prayer said over all the generations and hold it close in my heart and memory.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Can't figure out how to turn the sideways one right side up and am now giving up!
So...I was doing really well with my plan and went to visit my daughter and proceeded to get sick while there and that just set me back. This last week I started writing my "intake" down and I exercised three times. We had some relatives visiting here in Myrtle Beach so there was a lot of eating out though one day I made a Lime Chiffon Pie - that was low calorie. Planning on getting and staying on track and not beating myself up over anything.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I decided I wasn't ready for the Bootcamp DVD so I was able to find the DVD at "Tarjay" of the 1, 2, 3 and 4 mile walks - I'm still doing the 30 min. 2 mi. walk and hope to do the 3 mi. tomorrow in the morning. The 3 mi. is 53 mins. long.
I went out to dinner three times this week because friends were here from NY and I think I did well - made healthy choices.
Tuesday morning I fly up to PA - hopefully the pilot's strike will be over with and I will be with one of my daughters and grandchildren!!!!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Later this month I'm flying up to my Pennsylvania daughter's to stay for a couple of weeks and I want to keep going with my exercise program so I thought this new DVD would be a good one to "bump" up to. I know we're planning on trying bike riding and we'll do a lot of walking (she has a German Shepherd) but - I really want to stay on the program and see how it works for me.
Friends came for a brief visit as they were driving down from Long Island on their way to Florida and called and asked if we could see each other. It was great seeing them - they came to my house so we could sit and visit and then went to TGIF's where I had a turkey burger. All of this to say that they gave me a box of candy of jellied fruit slices - that I happen to like - I don't know why I just do - and of course I keep eating them. Why can't I eat just one or two a day? - I have this thing about "finishing" - do I think there are less calories if I eat it quickly and throw away the box???? I am going to get up right now and go and throw the box away - there done - just wish there were more to throw away...
I haven't exercised yet today - usually that is the kiss of death and means I won't get to it - but - I'm going to a friend's home for dinner tonight and thought I would exercise then shower and go to the party later this afternoon. The battle continues.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I didn't exercise Sunday or Monday - never had time on Sunday and then wasn't feeling so great on Monday - and then I realized I wasn't feeling well today and I recognized the trend so I forced myself to do the workout video. I also had problems with some food issues - I bought a box of Entenmann's Chocolate Chip Cookies to have to serve to my daughter and her boyfriend and in just trying to be honest - the cookies are all gone and they were all eaten by me - yep - and I bought chips and salsa and we never ate them so after they left to go back I fixed a plate of chips, grated cheese and salsa for myself - yep - ate it - could this be the reason I didn't feel so well???? You think??? So - today I started again. Thanks for listening. Now I'm going to try the sidebar thingy.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Vitamins all day
Ate correctly all day - writing everything down
Except for dinner - ate late - fixed Kraft Mac n Cheese spiral with 2 turkey hotdogs after I had had crackers and swiss cheese - didn't have ice cream and got to bed early - the night before I made a Smart Ones Ziti dinner but made extra ziti and added it to it because I was soooooo hungry - what was I thinking of???? I'm not planning my evening meals and I'm not eating enough fruit. I need to write it down here - it seems to keep me more honest. I ate a whole grapefruit yesterday and need to buy more. My youngest daughter and her boyfriend are arriving tonight from DC at about 1 a.m. so I am busy getting ready for them. She is working out and is trying to eat correctly so I am planning healthy meals - and snacks.
30 min workout video and Quiet Time
2 scrambled eggs w/cheese
2 slices of bacon
I'm on my third bottle of water and it is just lunch time.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Food Intake for May 25th:
Peanut butter sandwich on diet rounds
Diet Green Tea
Spaghetti at my sister & mom's - no second helpings-miracle!
1/2 glass wine
lowfat ice cream
THEN: 8 Manzanilla Olives, crackers, cheese - I know the salt is bad too
5 bottles of water!!!
TODAY - MAY 26TH:
Exercise - CHECK!!!
2 scrambled eggs w/ grated cheese
2 bacon strips
1 bottle of water
Quiet Time - check
Forward and onward!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Did not exercise - got in my clothes to do the video at night - never did.
Party at Liberty for my daughter:
Ate 1/2 giant soft pretzel - they were right in front of me - I stopped at half
Unsweet ice tea
Ordered grilled chicken salad
Ate avocado when I got home and no exercise
Today - New Week!!!
PB on diet bread
Sandwich on diet rounds - sliced turkey - diet mayo - lettuce - 1 T Lingonberry jam
Dinner (had Bible study to go to)
2 Scrambled eggs, grated cheese, crumbled slice of bacon
2 diet green teas
Ate this after I came home from class:
1 cup lowfat vanilla ice cream
5 Kalmata olives
4 slices of muenster cheese
Ate 3 cookies at Bible study (forgot I was not suppose to!!!!!)
What I'm most proud of today: Exercised to video tape!!!!!! Hated it but I did it
4 bottles of water today
Vitamins at every meal
Going to bed - 11:50 pm
What I learned today:
Get up early so you can get your exercise over with and your Quiet Time done with before your day starts - plan to succeed
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Breakfast: 2 Tbsp peanut butter on multi grain diet rounds
1 1/2 bottles of water
Lunch: Sliced egg, bacon, Muenster cheese on multi grain
Diet Green Tea
1 Bottle of water
Haven't exercised yet - didn't have time to do it this morning with getting ready for church. I'll do it tonight before going to bed.
Writing this down seems to make me really want to do the right thing. Yesterday I did NOT want to exercise but I wanted to be able to write it down so I really forced myself to do it. When I exercise tomorrow it will be 5 days in a row (I started to write "If" and changed it to "when") and I don't think I've ever exercised 5 days in a row.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Vitamins - only once
Food - 5 crackers & cheddar cheese - diet green tea
2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices of bacon, one cup of tea.
11:35 pm - going to bed
The exercise was a killer but I did it.
Only 2 bottles of water today but 3 diet green tea.
New day tomorrow.
This morning I didn't wake up until 8 am and I had a friend coming at 9 am to help with carpentry work - she was on time - I had one cup of coffee and then we got to work - no exercise - no quiet time - no breakfast - no vitamins - how quickly it can all fall apart!!!
She left about 1 pm and I made a sliced egg with two slices of Monterey Jack cheese on diet bread - diet green tea - and my vitamins. I was so hungry!!! My daughter called and wanted me to meet her at the beach with her friend and the friend's two daughters who are visiting her. Got in my bathing suit went to the beach with iced coffee in a thermo mug (along with my Splenda I added a leeeetle bit of Hershey's chocolate syrup). I actually went in swimminng - the water was beautiful!!!
My daughter's friend challenged me last night to exercise 40 days in a row - and I laughed - but - you know I know she's right - it could be a real turning point for me. So here I am at day 3 - 4:30 pm in the afternoon - sitting here at my laptop in a wet bathing suit on saying that I am going to go throw on a t-shirt and shorts on my salty sandyish body and do my exercise tape and then take a shower and finish the day correctly!!! I asked her at the beach if all the work I did this morning counted as exercise and she said "No" not it you were going to do it anyway - I needed to put this in writing. The last thing I want to do right now is 30 minutes of exercise.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Ate breakfast: 1 hardboiled egg, 1 leftover slice of bacon, 2 slcs. of multi grain
diet bread, little bit of butter on bread and coffee
Vitamins - check
1 bottle of water finished
2 cups of coffee
Forward and onward! The thrill of just minor successes is great!!!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Just remembered that I ate 8 green olives while fixing dinner - need to write that down.
One breakthrough - I did take all my vitamins today - took the fish oil and the glucosamine chondroitin 3X plus a B-12 once. Drank 3 bottles of water and 2 bottles of diet green tea.
1 hardboiled egg
2 sl of diet bread rounds
1 Cup cottage cheese
5 Saltine crackers
2 turkey hotdogs
1 cup broccoli
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 cup lowfat vanilla icecream
I am following my favorite 3 Day Diet and the plan for today is:
1/2 Grapefruit (had the best grapefruit today!!!)
2 slices of diet bread (multi grain rounds)
2 Tbsp of peanut butter
1/2 cup of tuna (Today I'm using Starkist Albacore Creations - Tomato Pesto - I do mix a little bit of Miracle Whip in with it otherwise I gag)
2 slices of diet bread (see above)
bottle of diet green tea
1 cup string beans
1 cup of sliced beets
1 small apple
1 cup of lowfat vanilla ice cream (my favorite part of this diet)
It is 11:45 a.m. and I did Leslie Sansone's 30 min. 2 mile Walk Away the Pounds Express video with the stretchie band for the arms. Right now it is all I can manage.
To be totally honest about this - I believe that this is not just a physical battle but also a spiritual battle for me and so I am spending time in prayer for myself and others that I know are battling this same problem.
I think I will report at the end of the day - before I go to bed how I did today.
Verse for the next few days:
Hebrews 12:11 "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
1. Weigh myself once a week in the morning and record the loss.
2. Write down what I eat every day - that should slow me down.
3. Exercise 5 days a week and record every time I do.
4. Keep a record of taking my vitamins every day.
This should get me started. Might as well make the blog work for me. I have 70 lbs. to lose and I am sick and tired of the constant failure to do this. Going to start tomorrow - with the real official weigh-in starting on Monday.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
"The human race is divided into the proppers and the propped. The propped have an easier time, of course, but they do not live so deeply or so excitingly and they get very bored."
Felicity drew gratefully closer to him in the dark street. If their two lives ran together, as she wanted them to, and this man beside her became her husband she knew just how the propping would be divided. On the surface it would be all hers, he would rely on her to charm away his depression, to light his imagination, to reassure his self-distrust and to lighten his fears and she would sometimes perhaps, as life went on get rather weary of doing it, yet deep down he had something that she had not got, some sober quality of level headness and caution, together with and unchangeable endurance in love and work upon which in her bad times she would be able to rest her whole weight.
I love the above quote and could see some of the relationship Alex and I had in the quote and how it all worked out. Sometimes I was the propper and he the proppee and vice versa - but then isn't that what makes a sustaining marriage?
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I had my first unemployment review this week. When I first walked into the large room that had chairs placed in a large semi circle and busy people sitting at desks and phones ringing I looked all around and didn't see any signs or directions of how to proceed. One young woman pointed to a table with a clipboard on it and told me I had to sign in. While I was signing in I noticed a lot of people seemed very nervous and agitated - okay - I know it's the unemployment office but it was still weird. Then I notice a big burly guy facing me and while I glanced at him two men with badges around their necks come walking quickly up to him - grab both of his arms and pull them in back of the man and handcuff him!!! I didn't think this was a good sign --- and immediately became concerned about the veracity of my information on my forms!
They took him outside and when he tried to pull away from them they were quick to inform him that he would be face down on the concrete sidewalk real fast if he continued - then he started yelling someone's name at the top of his lungs and a girlfriend came running, screaming and waving her two arms in the air. The police/marshalls warned her to back off and they took their prisoner away.
When it got to be my turn with the "examiner" I asked her if this went on all the time - she told me that this was only the second time she's seen this happen in all her years with the department. It turned out that there was a warrant out for his arrest and they knew he was due to come into unemployment so they were just waiting for him. I'm still being verrrrry careful with filling everything out!
P.S. The young woman that gave me directions on what to do was from the same newspaper I was laid off from - and we were both wearing brown tops and light khaki pants - silly looking sitting next to each other!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
I finally got up the courage and opened it up and it looks as though someone had taken a hammer to the screen and broke it up internally. I have to take it to my son-in-law and have him plug it in and see if I've lost my hard drive. Still haven't done it because I'm chicken. the mfg. says they'll fix it for $200. No - I didn't back it up - though I've been talking about doing it - nice!
I've had time for reading and read a wonderful book by Elizabeth Goudge. The Scent of Water. another blogger told me about her. She is an English writer and I have more of her's to read thanks to the public library.
Hope to be up and "running" soon!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Anyway - today when I took my three yr. old grandson upstairs to read stories to and to settle him down for a nap (yes, I dozed off too) - when I came back downstairs my daughter, Lauren, had fixed this salad plate for me - it was so beautiful I just had to share it - plus she has just given me a tutorial on how to download the photos off my camera - save them on my laptop - and how to post them to Facebook and my blog!!!
This Christmas I was given an ipod and a webcam - so watch out all you "techies" (?) because I am marching into the next century!!!